“When I ripped…..my pants” – SpongeBob

It is no secret that I had the breeziest of weeks. And by that I do not, in any way shape or form, mean breezy as in easy. I mean breezy and in actual breeze. Like a gust of wind where you typically don’t feel it. Meaning I freaking ripped my pants. Not once, but TWICE. Back to back days, ladies and gentlemen. Now THAT takes talent. Who the HELL does that. It takes me back to the last time I ripped my pants trying to show up a boy in gym class…..in 2nd grade. That was mortifying enough but, as an adult we’re talkin’ a whole new level of cone-of-shame-ness. So, without further ado: the story of me channeling my inner SpongeBob.

So, here I am. Minding my own business at work, wearing my favorite BDG girlfriend fit jeans from Urban. I used to wear these puppies basically every single day. They’re incredible…and I thought they were durable.

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THEY ARE THE CUTEST. This was taken a mere 12 hours prior to the catastrophe

Until this week. Luckily for me, I was on my way out of work when disaster struck. I had scooped up my stuff from the back (including my denim jacket THANK GOD) and stopped by the bathroom before returning home. I did the good ole thread your fingers through the belt loops, bend your legs and yank trick (you know the one). I have probably done that a million and one times in these exact jeans. Tell me why this time I hear a giant RIIIIIIIIIIP. Even just typing that literally sends chills down my spine. And not in a good way. God, I wish I could recreate the noise on this blog post because it was BRUTAL. It sounded like someone working on a production team had hijacked the bathroom as their own personal studio and played a sound effect called “extremely exaggerated ripped pants noise.” But, unfortunately for me, it was real. All too real.

So I’m thinking no way did that just happen. I turn around and SURE ENOUGH THERE IT IS. Starting at my waist band and going all the way down to the back of my knee cap, THERE IT IS BABBBBY. And not only was the rip incredibly visible. So was my ass!!!

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There she is. 

Wooo!!! What a way to walk around Cafe Gratitude!!! I basically just froze for a second, stared at my bare butt in the mirror and tried to troubleshoot while simultaneously trying to figure out how to conceal my laugher so people don’t think I’m a psychopath laughing hysterically in the bathroom alone. Enter my denim jacket, my mf savior. Like a true pro, I tied it around my waist and walked out of the bathroom with tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. I also gotta mention that I was basically dragging one leg behind me like a dead leg because I wasn’t sure if my jacket was covering my entire ass and I was horrified of the alternative possibility. Just picture that for a second.

In typical me fashion, I felt the need to tell everybody I saw what had just happened. I feel like when shit goes wrong in my life, I just make a joke out of it rather than actually deal. I realize this isn’t the healthiest way to deal with problems and I’m working on it, give me a break. The next chapter of this story comes with my gas tank being on E. IMG_2228So I had to stop at the nearest sketchy ass gas station (aren’t they all??) and get gas in the condition that I was in. And it was windy. And the denim jacket around my waist blew around a bit and it was all embarrassing and super super great. But, hey I survived….

ONLY TO COME BACK THE NEXT DAY AND MANIFEST THAT SHIT TO HAPPEN AGAIIIIIIIN. Fist thing I did when I got to work the next day was make a joke about ripping these jeans as well. And since I put that out there, the universe turned around and gave me a big ole middle finger. Now, I must say that the second pair I ruined are definitely older. I got them from this little boutique I used to shop at in Iowa City, called White Rabbit, probably three years ago. They’re stretchy and I knew they were nearing their final days. But I haven’t been able to get rid of them. Man, those jeans and I have some memories.

Yet again, though, I’m getting ready to leave work and I do the exact same thing!!!! It’s the freaking belt loop wiggle around pull up you guys!!! DO NOT DO IT. She is a dannnngerous move. This time, the sound was less horrifying and I was a bit less shocked. Probably because I was so desensitized from yesterday’s extravaganza. I did not, however, have anything with me to cover myself with besides my work uniform t-shirt…which, thank god, fits me like a dress because I’m short as hell.

I drowned my sorrows by buying 2 new pairs of jeans the following day. Both of which are the same brand (one even the same style) as the denim that ripped the first day. I would like to take this time to mention that I also have gone down a size in jeans since I purchased the ones that ripped. So we are 100% not sure why this happened. Or why bad things happen to good people. Or why I thought it would be smart to buy the same faulty jeans twice. Or why spending $145 in denim replacement is a good idea between paydays. Lots of unanswered questions here. But one thing I do know for sure is that ripping your pants at 22 is slightly (incredibly) more awful than it is in 2nd grade. History repeats itself and manifestation is a real thing people. If you would like to donate to the Holly Reimer ripped pants denim replacement fund lmk.

 

 

 

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A guide to rerouting

I ended February in a bit of a funk. I found myself feeling disconnected, a bit down and completely insatiable. The worst part about it is that I couldn’t figure out why I felt any of these things. Clearly things weren’t going the way I wanted them to go…but how did I even want them to go in the first place?

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#relatable

I was sick of feeling negative (because I truly believe that you get from the world what you put into it, and no one wants negativity mirrored back at them), so I was racking my brain for a way to figure it all out. I’m learning that I’m a pretty complicated individual and should probably apologize to my parents, friends, past flings or anyone else who has ever a had a “what the f are you as a human” moment with me because same. I’m having one with myself currently. You’re not wrong.

I wanted to share what I did to work through it because it’s proven to be pretty effective for me. First and foremost, please realize that t’s completely normal to feel a little off from time to time. I am such a huge perfectionist that I have a hard time recognizing that. I want every day to be the best day ever and often blame myself if life doesn’t always feel like Disneyland. So accept it. Sure it doesn’t make it suck any less, but step one to moving forward is definitely acceptance. Acceptance, but not complacency. Don’t get stuck in a rut or valley. If you are able to realize somethings up, take matters into your own hands and begin rerouting yourself to work towards a peak, and hopefully a plateau, again.

Alright. So I got comfy, lit some candles (currently really into grey flannel), made a pot of coffee and opened up a word document on my computer. I love to write when I’m on like a cup number three of coffee buzz. Plus my fingers can type in hyper speed. I put them to use by making a list of things that I want- some of them tangible and some of them more abstract. Since I was feeling unsatisfied, there were obviously things in life that I, either consciously or subconsciously, wanted or felt were lacking. I tried to not let myself think and just freely type until I genuinely couldn’t think of anything more. You’ll probably find yourself struggling to come to terms with a bulletpoint here and there BUT for the sake of getting out of your head, try try try to turn off your noggin.

Once I finished my list, I took a second to read through everything. I was pretty surprised by some of the things that made their way onto the list. Some made me laugh, some made me cringe and some were as stupid as a Gucci belt. But like…I definitely want a Gucci belt so whatever. The cool thing about free writing is that it tends to unearth some things that you didn’t even know you were keeping from yourself. Next, I went through everything and made even more bulletpoints of how I can attain that particular want. Each and every single one of them. This was a little more challenging, but so crucial in the process of rerouting your thinking. I think people can become pretty miserable when they fixate on what they don’t have in life…which is essentially what this giant want list is. The shift in mindset comes from knowing that there are things you can be doing right now to get there and, most importantly, that the only thing stopping you from getting there is yourself. Woof.

It’s likely that your list is going to be pretty overwhelming. Mine was. So keep in mind that you don’t have to literally focus on every single bulletpoint this week. Pick 2 or 3 that you would like to focus on each week. And HOLD YA DAMN SELF ACCOUNTABLE. If you’re trying to eat better, make a daily food journal. If you’re trying to practice more self love, set aside one day a week to take yourself on a date. If you want to strengthen your connections with people, devote some time on the weekends to call your friends back home. Whatever it is, write it down in your planner, put it on your google calendar, scribble it on your hand, tell a friend so they hold you to it (hell tell ME if you can’t find an accountability partner), etc. I promise you if you do this, you’ll be amazed at what you are able to cross off your want list just by following what you said you were going to do.

Being twenty something is not easy but life feels good when you have goals you’re working towards and stay in tune with yourself.

LIT SHIT: February

Where the hell did the last 28 days go? Went by in the blink of an eye and I think it’s because I was so crazy busy. Lots of cool stuff happened, but my schedule was so packed I feel like I didn’t really take enough time to check in with myself and appreciate much of it. Also. I feel absolutely all over the place right now so forgive me if that’s reflected in this blog in any way shape or form. I also just drank a latte faster than any human being should. Get ready for some scatterbrained writing. You’ve been warned WOO.

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Me pretending I’m not having a quarter-life crisis! Also-check out Joe Ward for all your photography needs!!!

I spent this morning taking some time to try and get my life together by setting a plan and some goals for the next few weeks. I started by reflecting on February. Looking back on the last 4 weeks, it’s no wonder I feel a little psychotic right now. My planner is full of white out, scribbles and a series of me stretching myself way too thin week after week after week…after week. Moving forward with this year, I’m trying to find a little bit more consistency in my life and learn how to say NO when ya girl just needs a break- easier said than done. So. I’m sitting here trying to think of ways I can start to do that and I figured I’d start with Riffs and Raffs. What better way to start than with a more regular writing schedule? Up until now, I’ve kind of just put out posts about random shit whenever I feel like it. Which has been fine, but in the spirit of consistency, I’m going to try to put something out each week of the month, with the last post being a review of some of my favorite shiz from the previous 4 weeks. I figure ending the month reflecting on all of all the good stuff is a surefire way to start the new month on a positive foot. I have also given a name (soft opening in the title of this post, stay tuned for the grand opening in about a paragraph. OH BOY OH BOY!!!).

PSA: I’m writing all of that blabber above to hold myself accountable to this schedule. I’ll probably try and do a few posts and mental/physical wellness, navigating life in LA and some on dance life as well. That being said, if there’s anything you want to see me writing about- PLZ HOLLA AT YO GIRL. If you could not give less of a shit I guess you could also tell me that. I’ll only cry for a few hours.

SO. Without further ado here’s some LIT SHIT February edition. And yes, I am calling this monthly blurb LIT SHIT. Yes, it will always be in all caps. *Cue Demi Lovato’s Sorry Not Sorry*

DRANK. Bulletproof coffee. The addiction is real. I was spending way too much on them every time I went to Whole Foods (which is too often) so I took matters into my own hands and bought the ingredients to make my own. The recipe calls for black coffee, ghee (or butter) and Bulletproof brain octane oil. I also add collagen (I use Vital Proteins) and sometimes a little coconut milk and maca. I throw it all into my nutribullet and blend for a frothy drank that keeps you going for hours, helps you metabolize fat and curbs cravings.

TUNES. I know I already confessed my love for Taylor Swifts new album, so I won’t talk about that anymore…but really it’s great. But I recently found this song “I Don’t Wanna” by a band called the Ivy. SO good from the beats down to the lyrics. I’ve also started making a playlist for each month on my Spotify and have been told I have great taste in music by several strangers (friends) who are completely non-bias (definitely bias). March is still a work in progress but I’ve got lots of good stuff on there and more to come if you’re trying to get some new sounds in your headphones.

ESCAPE. Ojai, California. I need to treat myself to more weekend getaways because DAMN. It was the trip I didn’t know I needed. My friend Arielle turned 25 and a bunch of us pitched in for an AirBnb over there. I forgot what it felt like to step outside and hear literally nothing but birds. Didn’t even know I missed that. It was such peaceful weekend with lots of heart-to-hearts, wine, food, more food and hiking. If you’re in the LA area and haven’t taken a second to escape the tall buildings and build up of trash on the sidewalks in a little while, treat yourself to a quick little road trip to Ojai to recenter and remember that there’s more out there than just Los Angeles.

NETFLIX BINGE. The End of the F*cking World. WATCH IT PEOPLE. I actually watched the entire series kind of by accident while I was in Ojai. We had all come home after lunch and needed a nap but that turned into about 4 hours of wine and Netflixing. It’s a super easy series to finish because none of the episodes are over about 20 minutes long and there are only 8 of them. Basically it’s about this teenager who is a psychopath and wants to kill this girl (she’s actually such a badass) so he befriends her and basically he catches #feelings. There’s a lot more to it though. It’s suspenseful, sad, romantic, funny and also really f*cking weird.

you+are+a+badass+by+jen+sincero+review+the+b+diaries+self+help+book+self+improvement+growth+blogREAD. You are a Badass. I put off reading it for a long time cause it’s such a fad read and sometimes I like to be a hipster about things. But it’s the real deal. I love the voice that Jen Sincero writes in. Kind of reminds me of the tone of my blogs- pretty laid back and casual. Kind of feels like you’re sitting in her living room on the floor drinking wine and she’s preaching at you how to take control of your life. And like, you wanna listen cause she’s cool and also drinking wine.

OVERATE. The Farmer and the Cook. Yooooo. THIS restaurant. Another find in Ojai. It’s this little hippy dippy spot with lots of vegan options, a market place, live music, outdoor seating, juice/smoothie bar and full coffee menu. LET’S GO. What more could you want. I got the Hurrache which was better than anything I have eaten in a long time. I also was blessed enough to consume the best cookie I’ve ever put in my mouth. Ever. I’m not either of these two things but for some reason I got the vegan and gluten free oatmeal raisin cookie. I realize to 78% of you that sounds absolutely awful, but I am not exaggerating when I say I’ve never eaten anything that good. It had this crazy brown sugary mapley aftertaste and ugh I can’t talk about it anymore cause I’m hungry and it’s making me sad.

#FITNESS. In the Yoga studio. As you know by now, I do class pass each month. I used to have a yoga membership at White Heat yoga in North Hollywood and it truly felt like home. I loved the staff and the way I felt walking out of the studio. As hard as I tried to make it work after I moved downtown, I had to cancel the membership. They recommended I go to Evoke yoga downtown and let me know that a lot of the teachers also teach there. Cool. That was in November and I just now made the time to go see what Evoke is all about. It’s about 1.5 miles from my place and I learned the hard way that it’s more efficient to just take an Uber (if I can’t get my ass out of bed early enough to walk) because parking downtown is not a thing. As in I missed my first class cause I couldn’t find a place to park good ole Snoop. I’ve been going to hot flow 2 and am so thankful to have yoga back in my life. Taking the time out of my day to get centered is really beneficial for my scatterbrained self.

These last few weeks have felt a little off for me, so here’s to looking at the positive side of things from February and knowing that it’s only up from here.

And, as always, please please reach out if there are any questions you have for me or anything you’d like to see me write about.